(I was going through some old emails and found this bit in a long 2010 missive to a friend.)

I’M AT A Houston airport restaurant, sipping on a Cuba libre as I wait for my flight home to Washington to board.

It’s already 45 minutes late so this is not my first drink.

A cell phone rings nearby.

A woman sitting two tables away from me picks up her phone and listens. 

“You can’t be serious!” she finally gasps.

There is panic mixed with anxiety in her voice

“What happened?” she demands.  

“That is not supposed to happen,” she says after a while. By now she is practically screaming.  

“That is so wrong – so, so wrong!” 

Another lengthy pause. 

“OK, here’s what you do, honey,” she says. 

She’s apparently figured it out and her voice is now calmer, as if she’s decided the emergency can only be taken care of with serene firmness. 

“Now, pay attention; this is important,” she says. 

In my mind I can see and hear a surgeon on the phone with a medic out in some remote area, offering instructions on how to remove a bullet lodged in some poor innocent victim’s guts.

I stare at the woman, wondering what her next words will be.

“You go to the Domino’s website and you go to the very top of the page and you click on ‘Coupons’…”

Problem solved.